Once again, a cassette has arrived at the door of the Tooting Trumpet in deepest South London. Postmarked “Sunny Barbados – the nation that doesn’t go to the cricket any more” inside was a tape, a transcript of which appears below.
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“Six hundred then gentlemen. How many times did Michael Vaughan declare on six hundred then? It’s all right Owais – don’t bother with that flash phone of yours, Belly’s already done it for me. It’s once – just once, and he only scored 23.”
“Colly and Ravi – I like it. Not very much, obviously, with all that bottom hand stuff – weren’t you coached at school or don’t they bother in comprehensives? Can’t argue with scores like that – and don’t even try as I can’t understand a word either of you say. And take those ridiculous shades off Ravi… Oh, put them back on again.”
“Tim – come out from behind Belly and let’s see you. Good knock. Very cheap runs mind you – it’s not exactly opening is it, coming in when Cookie and I have done all the work.”
“Stuart – nice four to raise the six hundred, but don’t get any ideas above your station. I think Mitch Johnson is a better bat and the wife thinks he’s better looking. So you can get an early night tonight and not spend the evening cruising your Facebook fan sites.”
“Jimmy – I’m having Gayle’s wicket too, thank you very much.”
“Get a good night’s sleep Swanny – you’ll need it.”
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nestaquin
tootingtrumpet
rajeshkannan
dementhorizon
Anticipating the next installment especially if things don’t go to script. I’m sure Andrew doesn’t rant but I expect his wit will be razor-sharp if the bowlers don’t heed his well laid plans.
Can they roll them without Fred? I presume today will answer that question.
By: nestaquin on February 28, 2009
at 3:30 pm
Catches will come – if held, I expect England to be in a strong position at the close.
By: tootingtrumpet on February 28, 2009
at 6:12 pm
What’s the point of a 600 run first innings lead if you don’t have a second slip or even a short leg half an hour into the day’s play with the opposition score only just passed 100?
Strauss didn’t learn that at school in Melbourne, I can assure you!
By: nestaquin on March 1, 2009
at 1:43 am