Posted by: tootingtrumpet | March 13, 2009

The Strauss Tapes Part IX

barmy-army-barbados-cricket-cwcAfter a few days with no post, another package has arrived at the door of the Tooting Trumpet. Postmarked “The West Indies – Rulers of World Cricket once more (possibly)” inside was a tape, a transcript of which appears below


“Right can we go round the room and just say our names so we all know who we are?


“Batty is it? Thanks.”

“Hang on, where’s Swanny? Injured? He wasn’t when he was asking me for a bowl at Powell every five minutes on Tuesday was he? If he turns up cracking funnies in the Sky studio with Charles Colville and Ramps, he can kiss his Ashes place goodbye.”

“Belly – be a decent chap and go and check if the pyjamas have turned up and have got the right names on the back. If Samit’s is in there, raffle it to the Barmy Army – it should fit most of them“

“Tactics for Sunday? How am I supposed to know? I’ve hardly played this Twenty20 stuff. Ravi said that at Essex they just leave it to Napier to blast sixes; Adil reckons tubby McGrath does that for Yorkshire and at Middlesex, we just leave it to Baby KP, Malan. Aren’t any of those blokes here?”

“We’ve all got to take this seriously on Sunday, even if some of you are just using it to warm up for the IPL – stop fiddling with that diamond stud Ravi. We’re all representing our country, or at least one of them, and I don’t want to see a repeat of that performance in the Stanford Series. To be honest, I was on holiday at the time, so technically I can’t see a repeat as I haven’t seen it once yet, nor will I, but that’s not important right now.”

“So, be on your mettle as you’re all playing for places in the ODI series to follow and the last one’s in St Lucia which has some very decent hotels. And beyond that, there’s the World Twenty20 (in England I think) and a whole shedload of important ODIs against Australia and some other countries too I guess in the Summer. “

“Right, I’m off to see Andy Flower about this batting order – I’m not batting eight no matter what he says. Freddie, you’re in charge. Hang on, no… KP, no… Colly… no… Belly  – isn’t he back yet?”




  1. So Strauss is captaining the T20 team as well? That’s daft. KP should be doing that.

  2. Strauss’ team talks seem to be getting fiestier. But I still think he’ll be caught out when he tosses Jimmy the ball for his 5th over.

    “What? Finished already? I’ve only just got my eye in. I thought 50 for 1 after 20 overs was a good foundation…”

  3. Chaka last played a T20 game in July… 2006!

  4. Adil Rashid has been waiting patiently for his England debut. Now the time is ripe for him to be granted with the honour as England’s woeful winter descends further calling for a fresh and promising change. Especially with such an eventful and anticipated summer around the corner England should have no hesitation to experiment in youth and open the doors for player competition.

    Although Adil’s bowling performance in the recent practice match was nothing to write home about surely the threat and mystery of a leg spinner operating overweighs an orthodox off spinner claiming casual figures of 10-0-1-40. To consolidate my point England should plan efficiently for the future rather than focusing on short term replacements. Also Adil can bat and field very well which is factor that has to come into consideration in the limited over’s format.

    On the whole he is a unique prospect who’s got the potential to turn the tables on the fate of English cricket. Therefore I recommend the ECB and Andrew Strauss provide him with a worthwhile run in the international arena. So that’s where I stand on the Rashid situation. Yes groove him in ASAP.

    Elsewhere, Owais Shah is going through a rough patch of form but we should remain faithful over his position as we all know of the brilliance he an offer in the limited overs format. KP seems to be encountering technical difficulty against the drift of left arm spin. Presuming Prior returns he should bat where he belongs and that is in the opening slot with skipper Andrew Strauss. Ian Bell and Stuart Broad don’t strike me as “ one day material” in my books. I certainly approve of Dimitri Mascernahus inclusion as he’s a one of the most destructive onslaught forces in the world and his dibbly dobbly medium pacers and shuttle variations come as an effective alternative in the bowling department.

    Here is my preferred side :

    The ultimate secret success behind the whitewash against the Proteas last summer was the opening seam bowling combination of Anderson and Harmison and therefore back England to continue with that strategy. Like many of our fellow bloggers I’m unsure about Khan but would still experiment in him. I will be tempted to play 2 spinners but regarding England go along with one than Rashid should be given priority.

    I am not the best with predictions but although Westindies are carrying the winning momentum back England to win the series 3-2. (Regarding Rashid and Harmison are selected).

    • I agree on Adil, but not on Harmy!

      Thanks for your considered post and apologies for not replying sooner.

  5. We better hope this isnt what really goes on behind the scenes !

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