Posted by: tootingtrumpet | November 26, 2009

The Strauss Tapes Part XXI

Andrew Strauss adds his signature to those of other great South African cricketers

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“Trotty, come and sit next to me here. Belly – get Trotty a chair will you? Thanks.

Well lads, one-nil up eh? Three more washouts and we’ve got whatever trophy we’re playing for won. There’s a line for you to tweet Swanny. David Lloyd is keeping the seat warm for you isn’t he?

Colly has shown the way – a performance that showed years of experience. If your place is under threat, get that ton in early, and you can play across as many swinging Steyn yorkers as you like for the rest of the tour and you won’t be dropped. Are you listening Belly?

Where’s that little Irish lad? Ian, sorry, (whispered – how do you pronounce that Trotty? Not too many of those on the school register in Pokechefsaround was there?) Eoin – you’re a bit flash, a bit handy, a bit of a dasher aren’t you? I like it – Swanny doesn’t, but that’s just jealousy, but I like it a lot. Can’t understand a word you say mind. Which county do you play for? … Really?

Stuart? Are you still crocked? It’s not just a ruse to get more time for photoshoots is it? How many is it now? Well I hope you average that with the bat once you’re back son.

This is my last tour down here (from now on, I’ll be paying for my own flights to spend Christmas with the family) so I want to go out on a high. Next time, you’ll be led by another captain, won’t they Trotty?

Anyway gentlemen, let’s enjoy this success while we can, as these Saffers can be right bastards – at least until they choke.”

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Responses

  1. Nice to know that Andrew has a new best mate that understands his culture and tastes. Trotty seems a better fit to open the batting with him in the white ball stuff too.

    It will be interesting to see if the selectors do what is obvious and drop Cook from the ODI team. My money is on them continuing their infatuation with a losing combination.

  2. They want Cookie to captain in Bangladesh, so he’ll stay in the team I think.

  3. Gawd, Straussy looks very dodgy smiling like that. Someone should tell him to stick with the thin-lipped only vaguely smiling stuff, far less creepy.

    • Sledging with a smile!

  4. I LOVE the Strauss Tapes.

    • Terribly kind Heidi – I expect that there’ll be more leaks during the Test series.


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