Posted by: tootingtrumpet | May 27, 2010

The Strauss Tapes – Part XXIX

Swanny's cap


It’s Straussy – I promised to get back to you on a few points.

Firstly, neither Andy nor I care what they do in the IPL, just because you’re ECB Cricketer of the Year, it doesn’t mean that you get to wear a gold cap. I know that you’ve been speaking to whoever makes the kit these days, but it’s just No Swanny and that’s it. I don’t know if anyone tried it last year – I mean, who was the Cricketer of the Year? Oh, me was it?

Next, if it’s you who was on the phone to Shakib doing that ridiculous “It ain’t half hot Mum” voice that you affect when you’re “entertaining” us with the Indian bookie routine, it’s not funny. Of course Punter saw through it last year – he’s played 200 Tests or something – Shakib is just a kid and it upset him. Okay, I’ll believe it wasn’t you – but you’ve made some errors of judgement before haven’t you?

Sky’s Saturday morning cricket show? I know they’ve been sniffing around, but the Gaffer is against it. You can do what you like once you’re finished – and I’ve a horrible feeling that you will – but this stuff doesn’t sit well with a current England player. Maybe a bit of banter with Aggers on TMS in the end of play round-up – not Boycott though – and telly with Nicholas, but not Hughes. And remember that when they say cut, the camera is still on and that anything you say about Timmy will end up on youtube.

Oh yeah Swanny, one last thing. That they are calling you “The new Dominic Cork” is not a good thing.


The Tooting Trumpet will be commentating on the England vs Bangladesh series at and writing the Performance of the Day column at Channel Five’s cricket blog. He’ll be back at 99.94 with his Report Card at the end of the Test.


  1. Tooting what has happened to the Taswegian?

  2. Good luck with the cemmentating today.

    Win the toss and bowl? I thought they had an Aussie coach? Hope the decision works out for them.

    • No doubt your commentating will be much better than my spelling!

  3. I like the word cementating. I might use that when referring to Ian Healy.

  4. Lou – I’m sure he’ll be back soon.

    Jim – Cheers. It was bowling conditions and the pitch at Lord’s does get better. Of course, you need the bowlers first.

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