Yes Swanny, I know I was lowest scorer in both innings, but, for once, you haven’t got much to smirk about.
Okay – we’ve twenty minutes before the flight so I want to review some key moments from the Gabba. Not just the toss Colly, and I’d be a bit wary of cracking the funnies if I were you. Cooky and Trotty are the only two who can do the jokes – well, if either of them had a sense of humour.
Right – this Umpire Review Decision System. I think some of you are getting carried away a bit. Stuart – you were calling for it in the nets last week. When in the field, what I want is clear advice or nothing at all. Trotty I like your enthusiasm in sprinting up from fine leg but, quite frankly, I’m not convinced that you did hear him feather it. And Belly – “Dunno. Might have done” just isn’t helpful. When batting, I’m the captain and I can call them when I want to, but the rest of you need to be sure about it and not just be hoping for a no ball Swanny.
Batting – Obviously well done to Cooky and VVS Trotty (tell Finny later Swanny) but the rest of you need to net hard tomorrow, except you Belly. You can do the media stuff with Cooky – it’s all right, Malcolm Conn won’t be there. He’s too busy finding new words to describe Mitchell Johnson. Don’t laugh too hard Stuart.
Bowling – I like the way you stuck at it and kept going – mainly to the fence in your case Swanny, but it’s harder work bowling than doing The Sprinkler isn’t it? I bet Monty told you that – you are here aren’t you Monty? Good. We need to work hard on this ball to get reverse swing and not rely on Punter roughing it up for us bashing Swanny into the pickets. Don’t look like that Swanny – I’m not bullying you – that’s Hussey’s job. Anyway, I want to see some reverse swinging and I’m not talking about those movies that appeared on Bres’ room bill that our Media guy is trying to keep out of the Press.
Fielding – Who took the catch in the second innings? Yeah – enough said.
Okay, they’re calling us for the flight and remember – this was only a draw so no big smiles and Cooky, put that T-shirt with “Sir Donald who?” in the checked-in luggage will you?