Posted by: tootingtrumpet | August 19, 2016

The Alternative Cricket Bucket List

bucketAt the First Test of the summer, the ECB produced a promo brochure with a Bucket List of 50 things to do related to cricket. It was all interesting, if predictable stuff – take a crowg catch, watch a day’s play at Galle from the Fort etc. Jarrod Kimber and I were soon riffing on an Alternative Bucket List and amongst the throwaway stuff, we came up with the following, most of which I can tick off (Jarrod had 25 too)

1. Drop three catches in a match and be fined for jug avoidance

2. Be hit by the ball in the crowd – extra point if it pops up off the rope

3. Be hit for six fours / sixes in an over

4. Been told by the umpire, “It’s all right. I understand that he’s played a bit of first class cricket in Pakistan”.

5. Bat at 12 because both teams have an extra player

6. Be caught at cow corner when batting for a draw

7. Start the last over of a match with the opposition needing 7 runs with two wides

8. Play as emergency wicketkeeper with two odd gloves, wearing batsman’s pads

9. Discover you’re using somebody else’s bat only twenty minutes into your innings

10. Borrow a box – “I will wash it, promise.”

11. Be desperate to ask how long the egg sandwiches have been left in the sun

12. Be shooed off the outfield by stewards after playing cricket at lunch / tea

13. Narrowly avoid being the perpetrator of a Glenn McGrath type incident when a ball you were messing about with got on to the outfield

14. Fall asleep watching cricket on TV overnight and woken up to find a batsman is till at the crease but his score is lower than when you nodded off.

15. Bowl out a teacher at school who then refused to leave the crease

16. Beat the local public school because the local comprehensive’s XI all played Saturday League cricket

17. Get a cricket article spiked

18, Spill beer / tomato ketchup on a proper cable-knit cream sweater

19. Get off the mark with an edge to the keeper not given by “your” umpire,  – running while the keeper was having a strop.

20. Need two more throwers to get the ball in from the boundary

21. Umpire 25 overs of a game when you were told you would get a relief after 10

22. Drop the catch that would have given the bowler a hat-trick

23. Roll the pitch without clearing the stones / fox poo / broken teeth first

24. Put someone off cricket by being too enthusiastic and detailed in your explanations

25. Get rained off without a ball being bowled when due to play a match a first class ground

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